*just another ranting post*
sths i rly wonder, whether i'll be able to get out of everything.
sths i rly wonder, what happened??
will i eventually get out of this? or will i be forever stuck in this without being able to move on properly?
it's nt tt i dun want to forget.
it's cuz i can't.
i hate the way i'm feeling now.
i hate the way at work, the way i face ppl ard me, even the way i hang out with my frenz.
the facade.
i dun even noe what's me anymore.
can i even find the me back then in sec sch?
the one who's rly understanding but still has the anger in her?
the one who can trust ppl as easily as ever?
the one who doesnt find herself scary at all?
sths i rly wonder, who i can rly believe in.
u might think, 'well, i know this feeling', but think again, do u rly know?
maybe it's just me having loads and loads of issues with myself.
mayb it's just cuz im crazy.
n just when i tot i shd not be thinking abt anything lidat this way, the whole vicious cycle started again. that's y i ask myself: will it ever end?
few can understand me, i guess.
or just when they think they do, i change into sth else promptly.
i c the ppl at work.
how many of them are rly frenz?
alright, mayb just a handful. n mayb the rest are just there for the sake of being there.
politics, i hate them.
nv liked it. esp after what happened in ateam.
that's y im on my guard more than ever.
i think abt the way i hang out with my frenz nowadays.
i dunno why, but i just keep quiet when im out with them now.
just. too. quiet.
so whenever they ask me what's wrong, i just say: nothing. im okie.
truth is, i dun even know why im just sitting there and starring into blank space.
no reason, nothing.
even now when im blogging this post, i probably just feel that it's practically stupid to talk abt all these random stuff in the middle of the night.
dunno why im doing this, but yeah, maybe im just feeling bored. or just being crazy. again.
