i didnt ask for the break-up.he did.
wad else cld i say?
i didnt talk to anyone abt wad exactly happened.
all i said were things lyk 'he said he wants out of the r/s.' , 'he's tired of trying'.....
i didnt say anything more.
i feel, there wasnt such a need anymore.
even if they dun find mi a nuisance to keep talking abt mi n him, gd or bad, i still feel tt they will get sick n tired of hearing mi talk.
i can only rmb the things he said when we were out on Tues nite.
he said he'll make French Toast for me aft my wk on diz Fri.
we agreed to watch Ice Age tght diz wkend.
we agreed to go for Max Breener's and to Changi Airport 2 wks ltr..
but it will nv ever happen again.
the max breener's treat will nv happen again.
he told mi ytd nite. i wanted so much to beg him again.
but i didnt.
i wanted so much to cry.
but i cldnt.
i didnt wan to.
chu ting asked: so u ditch him or the oth way round?
mi: he ditch mi.
broy asked: u changed bf already?
mi: ya.
he: u okie?
mi: ya..
aiax: u gt new bf already? sad...
mi: -.-
bryan, derek, jin, cher shen n daryl kept askin how cld it b leon. -.-
they bugged mi the whole day to c whether it's true or nt.
alvin tok to mi for the whole day aft he knew abt it.
bryan sat beside mi almost the whole morning.
he kept lookin at mi n asked whether i'm okie.
n i told him 'stop looking! i. m. not. crying!'
guess he rly expects mi to cry..
wake, gilch n killua told mi to hang on strong. :)
i sent an email to marion.
to tel him abt the break-up.
i'm guessing his reaction might b the same 'wad? y?!'
leon called mi after wk, when i was on my way hm to ask mi how's my day.
o ya.
broy sent mi 3 songs tt he wrote in the past.
n the 2nd song he sent, i didnt finish readin it. -.-
cuz once i read the 3rd n 4th lines, i teared.
it went sth lidat:
Because those happy moments that I had
May be the very moments making me sad
ya. nw tt i copied diz 2 lines
i felt sth heavy weighin mi down again.
when i was taking my shower juz nw, i tot abt ruiduan and chu ting.
somehow, thou it was juz a very fast tot of them, i felt lyk crying.
i started tearing.
n when i caught up wif myself, it was too late.
i started crying.
it was short.
cuz i kept telling myself to stop.
i dunno whether i'm doing the right thing or nt.
but chu ting asked 'u juz broke up wif shawn n nw ur wif leon? do u rly lyk him?'
n i told her 'i dun wan to tink too much anymore. i tot abt alot of things in the past b4 i kick-started the r/s wif shawn. n in the end? nth.. so y muz i still tink so much?'
i'm afraid to think more.
i'm just very tired from everything.
from the bad happenings in office.
from how he said everything.
from how he pushed everything to 'there's too many things to solve'
from the tone he said everything.
from the way he said 'pls respect my decision'
from the way he hung up the phone from mi aft just saying everything.
i'm tired.
n i rly juz wan to go into a long sleep.
i juz yearn to know, was he ever happy being with me?