im feeling so bad.
to the extent tt i tink i screwed up my life all over again.
n potentially another person's too.

sorry's everything i can say now.

so many things to tok abt..... -.-

too restless to tok abt everything.

rly cant bring myself to tok abt everything. so i shall maybe say things one by one??


okie mayb nt nw -.-

juz took diz test: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

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Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

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Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

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Here is the analysis:

You are the type to fall quickly and passionately in love, but will commit to a person forever when this happens. When you choose to love someone, it's going to be a strong relationship and nothing will come between you and your lover. But beware: love can turn you blind, and the rest of the world might cease to exist while you are in that honeymoon phase. When you come down from your high, you may find you have neglected other people and things that you love.

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Here is the analysis:

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

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how much do you care for your friends:

You value your friendships: 75%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

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Love And Your Sweetheart

Here is the analysis:

Your man is a lot of fun to be with. His talk is charming and because of this he always seems to be surrounded by girls. You'll just have to live with this and not let it bother you. If you let him know you're jealous, it's likely that he would turn his back on you without too many second thoughts. To be with him, you have to give him plenty of room to move, trust him, and allow him to be independent. You should also remember to be independent yourself. He enjoys going out to parties and likes you to have fun along with him too, so make the most of his love of life.

haha.
diz is exactly how i feel nw!


If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

- Samuel Goldwyn


ya. no jk. hahaha!

abit restless to update everything at one go. tt's y decided to juz put diz quote down 1st. :)

how could i b so careless???

... that it's time to STOP going through the motions of living, and START living.

Are you willing to do that now? Or are you going to wait until all life energy drains out of you and your loved ones who are trying to support you at this very moment? You were not born to follow rules and regulations. Living starts with dreaming. So dream, dream friend, and let dreams show you the path to your bliss.



:S y do i always get things lyk diz?
i seriously dunno wad it's supposed to mean nw. haha!

----------------------

smsed him alittle ytd.
when he didnt reply aft a few msges, i took it as it's either he's too bz wif wk or he juz doesnt wan to reply ba...

it's okie i guess.
cuz i gather tt he's moved on.
so it's nt surprising that he doesnt reply or whatsoever.

----------------------

cant seem to start my show -.-
nvm. shall go restart everything. :)

----------------------

fortune cookie of the day: If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain. D. Parton


nice rite?! :D

-------------------------


feel lyk smsing him nw.
but dun wan him to feel irritated.

of cuz, i dunno how he will feel.
but ya, mayb he's bz since he's COS for today?

nt tt we're still in contact, but ya, he typed it into my phone's calendar on the day we went to watch land of the lost.
guess he juz wanted mi to noe wad he's doing in camp?
i dunno. hahaha.
tt was the last day we met.
the last day we hugged.
the last day we smiled and laughed tght.


-------------------------


wadeva. shdnt b tokin abt all diz things nw!
back to my show! haha.

nt gonna tok abt wad happened today. mayb ltr. :)

lalalala~
hahaha!

i'm supposed to b taking my shower rite nw.

but ya.
cuz fb has diz app tt says: See what God wants you to know...

n for today, it's :
... that you cannot wait anymore.

The moment has finally come. You have no choice. You have to take that step now. Now. Not tomorrow, not in an hour, - Now! If anyone else is reading this, they would be confused. But not you. You know exactly what we mean. Do it. Now.


i figured out tt maybe it's to sms him or sth?
but ya..
i dun wan to sms him.
so juz blog abt it.
no way m i gonna say wad i feel lyk saying.
cuz ya, it might juz b kinda one-sided.
hahaha!

okie done wif blogging.
if i haf the mood to ltr, i'll probably blog abt the updates for today. :p

was out wif jt n xinyi on tues nite...
waited for them since 6 odd.
cuz the meeting time was supposed to b 7.45pm at j8.
went to popular to tk at some bks.

n i saw diz bk of names.

i dunno y.
but i juz looked for 2 names: Megan and Shawn

Megan: mighty, strong. soft and gentle.
Shawn: gift from God.

nice meanings. sweet. :)

---------------------------
i was feeling abit down at 1st.

but aft meeting them, we started to talk abt things...
everythin in fact.
they were trying to psycho mi into opening my options. haha!

sth made mi happy n smiled tt night.

but is it cuz we were talking abt them?

i guess so.


again, i'm happy tt xinyi n alex had patched things up.
rly gd for them.


---------------------------
on mc today.
or rather, for 2 days.


i smsed him diz morning to ask him how is he.
afraid tt i might pass wadeva cough or symptoms to him.

great, he's doing fine.

it's his turn to b COS in camp tml.
hope everything will turn out well for him.

---------------------------

watching black n white right nw.
diz tw drama tt stars vic zhou.

nt a bad show esp for its starting.
it actually gt me interested to continue the show.

back to watching! :D

all random stuff.
lalalala~

marion replied to my email!
n yeah, the things i expected him to say abt the r/s, he did. haha.
i love talking to marion!
he's a great companion!
everytime i talk to him, i always feel gd after tt! :)

it's a relief tt i didnt lose diz fren even aft he migrated overseas! :)
----------------------------------------------------

ytd went to my aunt's place for bbq.
my cousin's n her bday.

i gt there, n everyone asked mi how come i didnt get shawn to go along.

i juz said he's nt free.
cuz i didnt wan to say more.

onli rosen asked 'wad's up wif u n tt leon?'
i juz smiled at her.

aft the bbq, i left my aunt's place ard 10 plus to go to leon's place.

plan was to meet xinyi up 1st thou.

alex n her broke up ytd.
n i guess it might juz b cuz of mi n shawn.
she felt tt his brother seemed more impt den her.
so when she broke up wif him ytd, he said okie today.

i feel shitty abt diz entire thing.
juz when i'm as screwed up myself, i rly didnt wan to trouble other frenz.
y has it come to diz?
i felt tt she doesnt deserve diz.
i mean, she's been helping mi all along.
n nw, i gt her into trouble?
i dunno wad to tink.

thou leon n xinyi said tt it's nt my fault.
but i juz cant help it. :(


anyway, both of us gt 2 bottles of coke n went to leon's place.
we juz wanted to go over n chill.
n drink, yeah. haha.

i intro-ed them to each other.
n very soon, the 3 of us sat there talking in his room.
it always feels damn comfortable in his rm. haha!
cuz u get to rly slack ard.
the aircon, the computer... ahah!

we sat there talking n aft awhile, we decided to go down to his living rm for a drink.
i onli drank 3 cups.
while both of them drank 2.
:s leon was asking whether i wld cry after drinkin. -.-
n the both of them juz had to keep talking abt the r/s. (thou i told them many times to stop it. -.-)

we wanted to face-rape leon.
meaning put make-up for him. =x
but he didnt oblige! shit him.

right in the middle of the nite, i started tearing. -.-
it wasnt due to the drink.
it's juz tt, i sat there n started to tink abt him.
i started to tink abt how he appeared to be happy while out wif mi, while on the phone wif mi.
but it turns out tt he wasnt.

okie, enuff of tt.
back to the both of them.
we went out in the middle of the nite to get some instant noodles n tidbits.
noodles didnt taste as nice cuz it was damn salty for all of us. -.-

but ya
gd thing was tt everythin was paid wif leon's money. =x
13.55
tt's wad he deserved for making us tk the long way in okie. -.-

xinyi was complaining abt the whole grp of guys in the clique, while leon was complaining abt zhen rong. hahaha!

i juz sat there listening to them.
they came up with all the jokes they cld too. -.-
kinda lame but ya. hahaha!

we were tinkin when will the next time b.
definitely, we'll chill out tght at his place again.
it's juz great to noe tt ur frenz r staying out there wif u, tryin to cheer u up.
cuz u noe even if the whole world collapses on u, u'll feel much beta wif them ard too! :)

i dun wish to think anymore.

i just feel like goin away from here.

i didnt ask for the break-up.

lalala