fuck those gals who r always bored, fuck those guys who cant stand faithful! nbcb!
ahhhhhhhh
been a rather hectic day today
went to get his stuff
gave it to him..

found out tt he was flirtin over sms wif another gal? (okie there's 2 gals.. but i tink he's so fuckin obvious wif one of them?? even ask 1 of them out n she turned him down.. for diz, he said 'but in the end nv go out!'.. n i shot back bluntly, 'n tt's nt cuz u didnt ask her out, tt's cuz she rejected u!' but i'm serious.. veri true to wadeva i'm sayin.. HE WILL NV UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL EVERYTIME THIS SAME THING HAPPENS OVER N OVER AGAIN. he doesnt even bother to ask mi out? he doesnt even wan to meet? he doesnt even wan to swt-tok wif mi.. BUT HE'S SO FUCKIN WILLIN TO DO IT WIF OTH GALS! FUCK MAN!)

so i tok abt how i felt n tt it's juz wrong?
he: i'm goin ns soon so i dun rly care le.. nth matters nw le...
mi: nth matters? nt even mi? the pnt is nt tt we broke up or wadsoeva. the pnt is how can u say u rly love mi alot but haf the heart to say such things to oth gals????
him: ya i get it.. i'm rly sry...

was rly terribly upset at tt time... i dunno y diz vicious cycle juz haf to happen over n over again..
so wad izzit tt's makin him nt tink abt consequences 1st, YET AGAIN, n juz do it again???
i simply dun get it.. stop tellin mi ur goin into ns? so wad/ big fuck? tt's nt an excuse anymore!!!

manage to solve things AT TT PNT OF TIME..

went for dinner wif him...

n ya:
he promised he will stop flirtin n will cut down on sms wif the 2 gals....

qn posted to him: i dun say such things to another guy who's nt my bf u noe?
how will he feel if i rly say those n he found out?? will he roll on the ground n shout?? NO, I DOUBT SO..

hmmmm
i dunno.. i forgave him quite readily juz nw..
but we juz tok on the phone.. (finally gt him aft so many tries damn it.. was so freakin worried cuz he wasnt feelin well at all in the 1st place, n when i called, he ans n hung up on mi. aft tt i tried a hell lot of times but none cld get thru at all! so when i finally gt thru, i was so damn relieved... hmmm.. didnt rly expect his change in attitude again) n i asked whether the 2 gals sms him or nt..
he said no? -> okie dun rly feel so.. but if i say diz again, he will say i dun believe him again... hmmm.. shd i argue y i shd since he already did tt alot of times? wad does he wan mi to do? c him someday on the streets huggin another gal n onli to realise tt they're tght?? i swear i will juz stare at them, run off n jump off! fuckin hurting, tt will b...
rite, he said will tok to mi again tml -> told him he always say so, but does he bother to cal? HE DOES NT..
always say another day, but another day wen ever come for mi ba... as usual i guess

i dunno..
thou he said he will cut down on his sms wif tt 2 gals... the impression he gifs mi is juz the opp... u can c tt he's unwilling!! u can c tt he doesnt wan to! u can c tt he detests mi n doesnt even wan to tok to mi!
fuck. m i rly so hateful?
n cant even b compared to 2 fucking gals he met at sgh?? ha-ha!
can he understand tt i rly need the concern nw? he doesnt noe i type all diz cryin, he doesnt noe anythin except to flirt wif gals?? does he noe how painful it is? does he noe how insecure i rly feel nw??? n all he's doin is nt helpin! he's juz makin everythin worse! ya, tel mi tt he still loves mi, wans diz r/s but needs time to tink abt it.. abt wad? flirtin wif oth gals?? thz but i dun need him to remind mi... he's rly nt helpin mi! ahhhh!! damn it!

i dunno, but can i say i'm nt gd enuff??
i dunno.. i dun wan to degrade myself but diz kind of things he did, rly makes mi feel diz way...