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Saturday, March 01, 2008
worth nth? or too priceless to handle???
diz mornin, or rather afternoon, he didntmanage to meet mi.. usual reason..

i woke him up earlier, n he said he will wake up, but when i called him back ard 2 plus, nearin to 3, he juz woke up.. he juz apologised.. after which i said no need to say sry... lyk wad's the pnt?? whole cycle repeats everytime he wakes up late n i'm supposed to forget everythin n nt get upset/angry after a word sry has been said?

n he carried on, sayin tt he understands.... hmmm.. so? understand y i'm angry but still wake up late??

i was kind of pissed after tt.. n i juz gt myself a sandwich n a cup of milo in sch for lunch..
when it's supposed to b egg wif noodles cooked by him?? hmmmm...........

he msg mi ard 5 plus after tt... apologisin yet again, but i told him the same thing.. n he said tt his punishment is nt being able to meet mi today.... hmmm.. den my punishment is always the same? nt being able to meet, to add on, hear the same things over n over again...

i was doin my stuff n i felt beta..
didnt stay much angry after tt.. i dunno, m i used to it already??

when he went over to his aunt's hse for dinner, i went to ah ma's hse for dinner too..
had meat, egg, luncheon meat for dinner... n in addition, cuz i wasnt able to haf my noodles diz noon, ah ma cooked a pack for mi n gal to share.... well, i juz wan to eat it somehow...
didnt reply his msg... til after dinner, when a msg came in... askin mi whether i've eaten....
i replied n he was glad tt i did...
wasnt much angry already...

til...

he said he was goin out to prata hse again wif louis, wendy, cs n edmund..
at such a godly hr again.. 11 plus.. huh?????

n i tot i juz tok to him abt his priorities diz afternoon?
y muz he keep hangin out so late??
nw he said he will go hm ard 1-2.. n he will msg mi n cal mi when he's hm...

so.. 1 pass.. 2 pass....
goin 3!
n i decided to call him... after doin my stuff for the whole day...

i called... n i asked 'r u still outside?'
him: no i'm hm already
mi: tot u said u'll msg mi???

hmmmmmm.............. rite, he forgot again! =D

n he apologised AGAIN!! how great rite?!! to be disappointed by him again...

i've been tinkin whether sry might even mean anythin to mi in the future...
since hearin too many sorrys might numb mi eventually??

n i tot, m i rly so worthless?? nt even worth a msg? nt even someone worth wakin up earlier? (yeah i noe he does wake up early, but i'm sry, it rly disappoints mi... again n again...)
is it rly so difficult to rmb wad i say??
all the toks abt priorities, health risks, disappointment...

i dun wan to get used to diz kind of things... it rly makes mi wonder how impt m i... despite all the things i've done... 3 yrs n i'm nt worth anythin?? hmmm.......

~ { 2:55 AM }
aiming for the sky above;